Stubborn

Am I too stubborn? Or I am in a deep love trap? Too hard for me to answer. I still can't forget my past. Still in a mirage, thinking he still likes me, he would come back to me one day. This stupid thoughts are so active in my deep heart, though I told myself and my mind knows that it is impossible.
I might just get married when I back home this time. Then all this will be a dead mirage. Only one month to go, shall I do this??? Tickets is here..........

Car Accident

G left a message on my msn saying had a bad news and need me to contact him. A little background here. G is my mate! Mate for great! But we are totally different person. He is write, I am yellow, he lives in my contry and I am living in his. I am female and obviously he is male. But we are still great mate, we help each other a lot. Pure mates.
As soon as I got his message, scared the whole lot of me. Accidents just come cross my mind for no reason. B/c I know he never tells me bad news.
And I am right, Car Accident. Lucky it wasn't him. Was one of our other friends. GN. Poor him, broken his neck and spine. Start from his chest, he is paralysed. PARALYSED!!! God, such a good boy, paralysed! He is a gym boy! He just start his life. Maybe it's not a good year for him, he just lost his dad two month ago.
Everybody PLEASE drive carefully. I beg everyone.
P please drive safely.

Gift from work

Turkey, ham or Turkey? What do you want? Of course not the raw turkey. But what do I need ham or cooked turkey for? I have no family and I am not western people.
I think I really like imageine things. The first thing in my mind when I got that turkey is If I still be with P, I might can give this to his sister-in-law. Or maybe his mum. They do all the cookings. A very silly thought, isn't it. He even not willing to say "Merry Christmas" to me. How would we still be together. Silly me!

Plans for Xmas?

Everybody asking me any plans for Xmas. I said " Yes I do" to refused a lots of invitations. But actually, I am doing nothing. I have no plans at all! Might just sleep as home, watch DVDs and working. Or maybe I make myself availiable just for a mirical which just will not happen.
Lonely Xmas!

Greetings

Just wanna say " Merry Christmas!" Nothing special any more. Just a greeting, maybe I say it on behalf of my sister.
I did. Proud of myself.

How's P? I don't know!

For a suddent, my sister asked me last night " How's P?" I really don't know how to answer this question. Because I don't know where he is and what he is doing. But I am pretty sure that he is very happy and enjoying his life. AND NEVER THINK ABOUT ME.
Even my sister is thinking about him, just like a friend. So you can imagine my feeling.
But as I said, he had forgot me a long long time ago.............

Sick

sick! Sick of work! Had enough by now. So tired. Don't want to do anything at all.

Farm---horse riding

I love farm. I am a very city city girl, but I love farm. No body noticed this, but I do love it. Went horse riding yesterday with friends. Finally i did it. Was waiting this monent since very very young. I love the bush, the beach and the farm. We had 3 hrs ride. A bit too much for a beginner.
I had a young attitude horse, after everybody ready to go and went for about 10 meters. He decided himself that he would like to stay at home and turned back. I WAS STILL ON HIM! That scared the whole lot of me. This is the first time on a horse and without anybody's help. I nearly want to jump out of him, because he made me feel that I will fall off sooner or later.
An hour later, we all use to on horse, a lit more later, I can say: I can ride a horse. B/c the horse start running. Running! I really mean it is running! Scary!
I love the view, love the young lady horse trainer. Horses listen to them. So cool. I wish I can back to farm one day. And I wish I can go to that farm I know. Just an another wish! ( don't think will happen again)
I love farm!

Sounder storm

Near another Xmas, another more lonely month. A similar horriable sounder storm arrived in Melbourne a couple of days ago. Not surprisely I remembered last year's sounder storm at Dec. I went out with him and asking for break up. Such a stupid thing ever I did in my whole life. I hate what I did.

I miss him a lot still. But I know I will never see/meet/comtact him again. Rest of my life will be very sucks!