my failure

Monday, October 31, 2005

I knew it

It's very scary when you know what will happen in the future of your life. Since little I do have a feeling that I will not have good relationship. So many people told me that. Yesterday I met a man, he told me the same thing again. Good career, but very tough marriage. I knew all this. I did upset myself, blame myself for the reason of this relationship broken up. But accturally, In my deep deep mind, I know this is my fate. I can't change it. I only can accept it. No matter how happy I was, there will be an ending soon.
Scary isn't it! I don't know what to do can change that fate. I do really prefer have a normal career, but a lovely family. Be with my lover and have kids. A happy family. I do, I really do. Money is not that important, and it can't buy happyness.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Birthday

Just got a miss call and a message from one of my student. To say happy birthday to me. Actually saying my student, he is older than me. I don't know why I gave him the impression that today is my birthday. It should be one month later. Anyway, he remembers it. Why always the wrong guy who likes me, not the one I want............

Monday, October 10, 2005

Back to normal 6 yrs ago

K,C,H and me met each other 5 and half years ago. Since then we've been very good friends. No matter what things happened, we all together and helping each other. We all came from thousands of miles away. H is a boy, and 3 of us are girl. H brought his first car at March, 2001. I got mine at June and C had hers at 2002. We use to play crazy, drive all around states and we had a very nice trip to SYD when K moved there. We gave her a very big surprise after we notices that she was very lonely there. Mountain, beach, river are the places we normally go. We use to light candles, shut, sing, dance......... very free.

H had his gf in another country, C's bf came over here and joined us, mine bf was somewhere, I even did not admit he was my bf at that time. K is single all the time. About in a year, all of our bfs or gf sort of broken up. But none of us care that much. Because we are too young.

About a yr later, H started his serious relationship which the girl we dislike. C back with her boyfriend who been with her since high school. Then later I start mine serious relationship too. K back to where she come from. We all busy with our own business, but we never stop contact each other. We still best friends.

Maybe best friends do things together. Recently, C broke up with her long term bf again, I break with my lovely boy. And for a sudden H broke with that girl, he ended his 2 and half year's relationship. What the....

K still single. So we, 4 stand at the very begining. We free again. But we are not young any more. We are talking about real business now.

It's must be hard for H. Though he said he is fine, we know he is try to be strong. Me and C companied him till very late. But he made me miss my ex. I still do like him.

Miss you

P: I miss you again.