I am scared

Scary, isn't it! We break up. And till now very nasty. It will be a very awkward situation if he backs to me. I don't know what I will do. I still do like him, but different. He is in my ex trash. Same as I still liked my first boy. But that man is rubbish to me. Both of us have to be very brave, to get things better. It's going to be a hard task! If I try my part, maybe will be fine, because I know myself, I always be possitive. But I don't think he is brave enough to deal this. It will be a very bad situation/position to him.

So I decided to kill this. I decided to make him hate me, hate me as much as he can. I want him to rule me out. I want to change what that teller told me. Sorry P. I know you really well, know what things I do or say can piss you off, can make you up set and angry. And I think I achieved this by now.

I am scared. I might choose to do the last thing--die.